|
_________________________________________________________________________
Children have long been the silent and invisible victims of domestic violence. They watch, learn, may fear the loss of a parent, and are often abused. They are profoundly effected by domestic violence. Some of the potential effects include:
_________________________________________________________________________
Emotionally
• Feeling: of shame, guilt, and self blame—believing “I caused it,'' or “I should have been…''
• Grief for Family and personal looses
• Confusion about conflicting feelings toward parents
• Fear of abandonment, of the unknown or personal injury
• Anger about the violence and chaos in their lives
• Depression, feelings of helplessness and powerlessness
• Embarrassment of the effects and dynamics at home
__________________________________________________________________________
Behavioral
• Acting out versus withdrawing
• Lying to avoid confrontation
• Rigid Defenses
• Excessive attention seeking, often using extreme behaviors
• Out of control behavior—not able to set limits or follow directions
__________________________________________________________________________
Socially
• Isolation from friends and relatives
• Stormy relationships
• Difficulty trusting
• Poor anger management
• Engagement in exploitative relationships
__________________________________________________________________________
Physically
• Somatic complaints
• Nervousness, anxiety, short attention span
• Hyper vigilance
• Regression in development
• Desensitization to pain
• Self-abuse
• Eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia
• Substance abuser
• Delinquency
__________________________________________________________________________
Domestic violence does affect children, and the sooner there is intervention and children are reached, the better.
__________________________________________________________________________
A Young Voice Speaks Out:
My Dad Gets Mad
13 Years Old
My stepfather is a pig. I think they should put his name in the paper. I want everyone to know what he does. Why doesn't my mom just divorce him? He's always hitting her. They've been together since 1990. I think she takes it because she's scared. Or maybe the likes it. No, nobody deserves to get beat. But she's not strong. She lets him beat her. She didn't even call the cops on him, so I guess she's weak. I don't know why. One time he was driving and acting up and she told him to stop. He punched her in the jaw and in the nose, right while be was driving! I should have hit him in the head with the seat belt from the back seat. I could have killed him. Then he said he was sorry, he'd never do it again. Just like they all say. He'll beat her again, I know it. But I'll stab him in the heart in the middle of the night I will. I lost my temper more then I did before I knew him. I never used to hit girls. But this year, I saw him hit my mom and I think that's why I hit this girl back. I got in trouble with the principal...
__________________________________________________________________________
Statistics
- Every year, 3-4 million children witness domestic violence in their homes
- In homes where spouse abuse occurs, children are abused at a rate of 1,500% higher than the national average
- The most common factor among pregnant teens is that they grew up in violent homes
- 63% of males between the ages of 11-20 who are doing time for homicide have killed their mother's abusive partner
- 70% of abusers grew up in homes where there was domestic violence
- Delinquency and significant emotional disability are far from prevailing among children from violent homes than children from non-violent homes
- 60% of all runaways at youth shelters come from violent and abusive homes
__________________________________________________________________________
One Woman's Experience
A woman who grew up in a violent home stated, “It completely colors the way I see myself, the way I interact with other people, and the way I perceive the world at large. To say that it pervades every cell of me is an understatement. The think I struggle with the most is a feeling of unsafety in the world. No one is safe, nothing is safe, I am not safe. Because if the people you count on to raise you are the ones who are abusive, then there's no refuge.”
|
